Time for Presence

In the movie "Forrest Gump" the title character spends most of the film sitting on a bench at a bus stop telling strangers the story of his life.  At first glance Forrest is not the most desirable person one would want to start up a random conversation with.  He's obviously a bit backward socially and awkward in conversation and thinking.  Probably just another odd-ball in a crowd that most people would overlook while waiting for our bus, choosing to stare in the other direction or down at our phones.

And yet somehow Forrest manages to capture numerous people's attention.  He seems to almost just be sitting there rambling to himself, oblivious as to whether or not anyone is actually paying attention.  Most of the listeners do respond and even sometimes make comments and ask questions.  This in itself is a good lesson for us all: perhaps people are more willing to listen if we just take that first leap of faith and initiate.

It occurs to me that these random strangers did more than just listen.  They performed one of the most compassionate and important services a person can provide: They sat and listened.  They were an audience when Forrest needed to pour out his heart.  They didn't judge or lecture or offer advice.  This man was processing a life's worth of memories filled with sadness and joy.  Unbeknownst to them he is on a journey to reunite with the love of his life, having not seen Jenny in several years.  No doubt he was anxious as most of his time with Jenny was filled with false hopes and her running out.

As Forrest concludes one story, an elderly woman and Forrest sit on the bus stop bench. The woman is crying and wiping her tear stained face.  Forrest finishes his story and says, "And that's all I have to say about that."

A bus pulls up and stops. Forrest looks at the elderly woman and asks, "Didn't you say you were waiting for the Number Seven bus?"

The woman responds, "There'll be another one along shortly."

Whatever business this woman had for the day.  Whatever appointments, places to be, people to see, at this moment it was important for her to be right there on that bench with Forrest and she was wise enough to recognize that.  And because she was willing to slow down and be a listening ear for a man who needed it, she was also able to help him in a tangible way when Forrest mentions why he is waiting for the bus and says he got a letter from Jenny with directions to her apartment.

He has been sitting there waiting and telling his stories possibly for many hours.  And yet the woman points out that he doesn't even need to wait for a bus because Jenny's apartment is only four blocks away and the man who ran across the continent multiple times can walk that in no time at all!  But Forrest would not have known how close he was had this woman not chosen to be present.

Oh, how we confuse our priorities and values.

Be a listening ear.  Be present.  For a friend.  For a stranger.

It really could be the most important thing we do.