I Know

I was driving down the freeway today on my way back to work after multiple medical engagements during my break. I set the music player on my phone to shuffle thru all 293 tracks randomly. Sometimes I like to be surprised by what comes up, rather than listen specifically to worship music or instrumentals/soundtracks or just regular good songs.

I was a bit oblivious at first as to what was playing. My mind was wandering. Turns out two tracks played back to back that had a lot in common. The first was "Han & Leia" from Star Wars: Episode VII, "The Force Awakens". This was immediately followed by "Carbon Freeze/Darth Vader's Theme" from Star Wars: Episode 5, "The Empire Strikes Back".

Once I realized the similarities between the two tracks it got my brain wandering to very important Star Wars musings. It got me thinking about the death of Carrie Fisher, and the death of Han Solo. It got me agitated because I just really wish we could have enjoyed more scenes of them (And Luke. And Chewbacca. And Artoo and Threepio. And Lando.) all together again. This really was one of the greatest ensemble casts of characters ever in all of Story. You know it to be true.

So many of us had waited so long for them all to be together again. It was great to see them in "The Force Awakens", and to know that we would get more of our Skywalker twins, at least, in the rest of the new trilogy. But, oh, how I wish we could have gotten more of that Han and Leia spark.

The "Carbon Freeze" song that played as I drove today is in one of the most iconic scenes in all of cinema history. Our Rebel friends have been captured by the Empire and Darth Vader is preparing to freeze Han Solo in carbonite, possibly never to be seen again, as a trap to lure and capture Luke Skywalker.

Han Solo and Princess Leia have sparred back and forth for their entire relationship so far, toying with each other, each stubbornly refusing to admit they have romantic feelings for the other. But now, standing in the carbon chamber, surrounded by Stormtroopers and Vader himself, it may be too late...

She finally gets the words out and his response seems so shallow and unloving at first glance. But this is classic Solo. It is classic Han & Leia and defines the nature of the turbulent relationship. The line is repeated in Return of the Jedi, except they switch roles...

In the Expanded Universe books they have a constant banter back and forth.  She ever the princess, the diplomat, the public figure. He always the rumpled scoundrel, totally not politically correct or patient in his words or actions. And yet while they butted heads often, they balanced each other so well. They understood each other, their weaknesses and their strengths. Their bond and love was unmatched. And they knew it.

There was a brief time in the Expanded Universe books where they were separated. This was at the beginning of the Yuuzhan Vong War, which crippled the galaxy, and immediately following the death of Chewbacca. Han's grief was too much to share and he needed time away, returning briefly to his pre-Rebel Alliance/Leia life. Of course the war drives them back together and with Leia no longer in public office they are stronger than ever, even strengthening each other and remaining a united front as their son, Jacen, becomes a Sith Lord.

I guess it is because I am such an Expanded Universe fan that I am left with a hollow, empty feeling of loss after "The Force Awakens". Don't get me wrong I really did enjoy it; I saw it seven times in the theater! I guess with the death of Han Solo, and then so quickly the death of Carrie Fisher, it just seems like we've been cheated out of enjoying the reunion of our friends.

These hollow and empty feelings of loss were where my mind wandered during my drive today while listening to the Han & Leia centered music. It made me wonder what all has happened the past thirty years that drove them to this place, and sad that death has marred hope of their reunification and any hope of our being able to enjoy seeing them as co-pilots of the Millennium Falcon, as they were after the death of Chewbacca in the Expanded Universe books.

What a punk Kylo Ren is for destroying his parents and Uncle Luke like this! While their love for each other had its ups and downs and was full of turbulence, I guess the lesson we learn here is that some wounds are just too deep, and that our actions and choices do set off chain reactions that do affect others.  And some chapters in fairy tale, space opera Stories don't have a perfectly happy ending with a pretty bow.

At the very least we did get that one beautiful exchange where they silently embraced one another for the last time. The romantic in me really, really, really wishes one or both of them would have said the words, but, grudgingly, I admit that their bond was enough that the embrace said it all.  And, I guess, maybe that is enough.

"I know."