A Time for Everything

It has been six years since I have done anything with my blog here. Not for any particular reason other than just not making the time to do anything.

I've felt for a while that I needed to get back to it and to actually follow through with inspiration when it hits. And I decided this week was to be the week to begin anew. There are so many things to update, to write about, but this post will mostly be an overview and not dig in to all the details. Those can come in later posts.

As of March 5 I am officially over halfway through with my 40s. I am now closer to 50 than 40.

This doesn't actually bother me at all, I have no problem growing older. Maybe because folks have always treated me like I am younger than I am, or because I should have died a long time ago, I actually enjoy getting older and want all-white hair.

Our theme at Winter Camp this year was taken from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 and titled, "A Time for Everything", utilizing one of my favorite songs as well, by The Byrds, "Turn, Turn, Turn". The Ecclesiastes passage reads,

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every matter under heaven—

A time to give birth and a time to die;

A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.

A time to kill and a time to heal;

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to weep and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn and a time to dance.

A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;

A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.

A time to search and a time to give up as lost;

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;

A time to be silent and a time to speak.

A time to love and a time to hate;

A time for war and a time for peace.

As I look back on the past six years since I last wrote in my blog, I see a lot of the themes here show up: Change, Grief, Loss, Joy, New, Anger, Peace, Discord.

 A lot has happened and a lot has changed. And at the same time some things are very much the same.

For the first time in my adult life I am working one full-time job, instead of juggling two. I have also moved on site to the camp where I work near Mt. Hood. While I have never actually lived "in city limits" it is still quite different in this little cottage "in the woods". In most ways I feel healthier than ever before as well; I strive for the "MAHA" (Make America Healthy Again) lifestyle. I eat better, drink less soda and alcohol. I try to exercise consistently. I have changed my body soap, toothpaste, mouthwash, shampoo, laundry detergent, all to expose my body to less chemicals. I utilize several "super-food" powder supplements to provide my body with what it needs, to counter bad cortisol, and help me to sleep better. And I am now eight months free from immune-suppressing pharmaceuticals for the first time since I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease in 2008.

Priscilla and Aquila are still with me and will be turning ten years old in just a few weeks. As they have been their whole lives they are a comfort and a joy, giving empathy and listening ears. Well, at least she does. We have also been joined by Sam. Living at Camp I knew I wanted a dog eventually and settled on an American Brittany since I grew up with a few and they are a very well-mannered, fun and family-friendly breed.

Like the cats, Sam was named with purpose. He is named after some of my favorite characters: Samwise Gamgee, Samwell Tarly, Sam Seaborn, who share the same character traits that the Apostle Paul's friends Priscilla and Aquila share: loyalty, hard-working, the behind-the-scenes hero who supports the main character. He is also mostly named for my real-life friend and former boss at KFC who exudes these same traits, Sam Flores. 

Also like Priscilla and Aquila, he does a good job of living in to his name. It is unimaginable how life would be without these three hairy roommates of mine.

In the last decade it has often felt like the world is on fire. Politics have consumed so many aspects of our lives, people struggle to healthily compartmentalize and have become so tribal. It's exhausting, sad, frustrating and numbing. It is way too easy to jump on band-wagons and dwell in anger and hate, to label and write people off.

These tendencies were already in full-swing development when the Covid-19 virus consumed the attention of most of the world, causing shutdowns and strife and changing the world in so many ways.

It was two years in to that that my Mom got sick with the virus and passed away. My family changed forever at that point. I have not been sheltered from death but it is a totally different thing to be alone in a room with the three people you have been with your whole life, together while one of them takes their last breath. It is hard to describe and not for this particular post.

Fortunately my Mom was able to meet her first two grandbabies. While losing my Mom was a significant blow to our family we have also been blessed by the arrival of my three nieces. They are ornery, funny, high-energy and it brings me some level of joy to see my sister and brother-in-law, who are "geriatric" parents, be worn down by these three little girls who are six, four and two.

From the lowest of griefs, to the highest of joys.

There is a time for everything.

I have had many opportunities and experiences these past few years. I was able to visit my friends who were living in Beirut and travel around Lebanon and Jordan. I spent several weeks on pilgrimage all around Ireland and a few days in England after. My Dad and I road-tripped through Washington and Rainier National Park on our way to pick up Sam as a puppy. Camp has joined the Christian Camp & Conference Association and I have been able to travel to conferences in Seattle and in New Orleans. I have explored the Mt. Hood area, taken my summer staff on whitewater rafting trips and other hikes and explorations. Because of Sam being a bird-dog I am trying to get back into some hunting so he can get him some grouse. My family tries to do something fun with the girls a time or two each year: the zoo, the beach, Enchanted Forest, the aquarium. Building memories, going to new places, experiencing new people and cultures.

I was watching an episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" (season 6, episode 15, "Tapestry") a few nights ago that in the past has not been one of my favorites but it stood out to me now.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard is severely injured on an away mission and as he lies unconscious and dying the omni-being Q, his nemesis, takes him on a journey. You never know with Q whether it's a prank-like joke, or whether he's actually trying to help Jean-Luc and the Enterprise crew. It seemed like this time he was trying to help the captain.

Q brought Picard back in time to his Academy days and gave him opportunity to make a change in a choice he made that changed the course of his life. Jean-Luc made the change, preventing him from a severe injury and the need for an artificial heart. The catch was that that one choice changed the course of the rest of his life and he was no longer the heroic and well-respected Captain of the Enterprise. He was now a lowly lieutenant who hadn't taken risks, played life the easy and safe way, and was now at a dead-end post and viewed as someone who never finished well.

Jean-Luc recognizes the lesson Q was teaching and manages to get him to give him another chance and this time he makes the same choice he originally made, resulting in his injury and need for an artificial heart. But he remains Jean-Luc Picard and is brought back to the life and timeline he nearly lost. The things he did, the choices he made, were what had given him the life he lived and loved. Without any one particular moment, he was not the same person and his life did not unravel as he remembered.

At the end he is recounting his strange experience to his first officer, Commander Riker, and recognizes, "There are many parts of my youth that I'm not proud of. There were...loose threads--untidy parts of me that I would like to remove. But when I...pulled on one of those threads--it had unraveled the tapestry of my life."

There is a time for everything.